More swornaments

I've never been able to knit a sweater in a day until now. These swornaments are kind of addictive. This is the latest batch. I took them to my knitting group at the senior center the other day and the ladies were quite impressed. Truthfully, I think they were most impressed with the hangers (see previous post). "Where did you get them?" someone asked. "Target," I said, "in their mini department." No, I didn't say that. I gave all the credit to Tech Guy. Luckily, he gave me a tutorial on hanger-making because I know he won't always be available to make as many as I'm gonna need. I'm guessing, though, that after knitting a couple dozen or so I'll be more than ready to swear off swornaments.

Swivel-free zone

We had a nice Thanksgiving Day here at the complex. (For your info, the complex is what comes before the home. After the home, it's all downhill.) Thanksgiving evening wasn't quite as nice.....due to my slight mishap. But I'll save that story till later.

I've finally found a use for my leftover sock yarn. Sweater ornaments (swornaments?)....and I have enough in my stash to make one for each resident of my town. Not that I'm planning to, but I'm just saying. I found the swornament pattern online here. I'm using #1 sock needles, but I might change to #0's for the ribbing, since I think those stitches should be slightly smaller.

Sock stripes made with self-striping yarn are fairly predictable; itty-bitty sweater stripes are not. That's what makes them so much fun to knit. Tech Guy has been making the itty-bitty hangers. He's quite proficient with needle-nosed plyers.....what with all that tech fiddling he does. I've given him a sizable order--enough hangers for everyone in town. "Hey, Tech Guy! Where are you going? Come back here this minute!"

So, Tech Guy and Big City Girl were here for the holiday weekend and, as usual, they insisted on going out with their old school buddies. The thing is, they don't always remember to lock the front door when they come home, so one of the parents must get up out of bed to check. This time I volunteered.....and as soon as my foot hit the top step I felt it slip and I took a wild slide half a stairway down to the door on my butt. Thank goodness it's a well-padded butt. Otherwise, I would have hurt myself more seriously than just a twisted knee and a chicken-breast-sized bruise on my hind quarters.

I made quite a clatter and everyone came running. I know they must have been worried about who would heat up the Thanksgiving leftovers. Thankfully, there was no need to call 911 because I would have been painfully embarrassed to have outsiders see me in my plaid jammies with the toothpaste stains. I keep hoping one of these days I'll get the hang of my new electric toothbrush.

I'm happy to report I've made a good recovery. I can walk fine and I'm able to climb stairs. I even heated up the leftovers. But it's going to be a while before I can swivel.

In a baking mood

The gangly group of good-for-nothings has been deposited at the old hotel and now await a chance to strut their stuff. The craft show isn't until the first weekend in December, so they'll have a couple of weeks to bide their time.

Meanwhile, I've been pondering a new project that's a little smaller in scale. I've decided to knit some mini-sweater ornaments.

I have plenty of materials in my stash--leftover sock yarn and small double-pointed knitting needles. It took me about 4 attempts to cast on and get it going, but now I'm on a roll. This itty-bitty sweater is being knitted from the top down in a raglan style. I've finished the neck ribbing and am headed downward. The really fun part will be making the itty-bitty wire hanger when I'm done. It's probably going to be a whole lot easier to manipulate the needle-nosed plyers than the 5 knitting needles. I think if I sit with Mr. Gadget for one more boring football game I should be able to finish it.

For a long time I've been giving thought to making a collection of handmade Christmas ornaments. A change of pace from all dolls all the time sounds appealing. I have lots of ideas. I enjoy doing craft fairs in the Fall, and ornaments would be easy to transport and reasonably priced for wider appeal.

In other news, the vinyl siding is finally being applied to the new building next door.

The pistachio ice cream and Pepto Bismol are being replaced with buttercream frosting. Suddenly I've got a hankerin' for cupcakes. This end unit is a mirror image of ours. The windows on the top left correspond to those in the Treehouse. The small window on the bottom is Mr. Gadget's office. The ones in the middle (l to r: kitchen, master bath, master bedroom) are what we refer to as the buffer zone. This insures that our retirement years will continue to be happy and relatively stress-free. Well, that and the pet gate....

Daunting details

I've been spending a lot of time in the Treehouse getting dolls finished up for their Sunday send-off. By now, I've lost most of my enthusiasm and am just interested in getting this show on the road. This is all part of my dollmaking process. I'm seeing flaws in every one of them and feeling positive that no one will buy a single one. This is also part of the process.

I always seem to leave the hat-decorating detail till last. In my early Santa-making days, I just bought some berries and greenery and glued them on. Now that the process has evolved to include more handmade details, it's a challenge to come up with something fresh and new.

For this one I used fabric with a leaf print. I fused two pieces together and cut out the leaves. Not very innovative, but it adds some variety.

Embroidery and beading always works in a pinch. It doesn't take me long to do it since I've had lots of practice. I never measure anything; I just use the ol' eyeballs. Sometimes I do just as well as Mr. Gadget with his tape measures and his levels.

This hat belongs to Santa with the bunny slippers. The leaves are sewn out of fabric and gathered at the bottom to give them some dimension. They are green-checkered holly leaves. Anything goes in my world of whimsy. I'm not happy with this beard yarn that I purchased for a very good price at Knitter's Heaven. It sheds. Santa needs a lint brush. The best kind of yarn to use for this is an acrylic blend of some kind. That eliminates the unsightly shedding and it has some bounce to it. In Santa's world, bounce is synonymous with jolly.

So Mr. Gadget and I just received our invitation to the 2nd Annual Trim-a-Tree Party here at the condos. All of the residents are asked to bring an ornament to hang on the tree. You may remember last year my contribution was a snowman, "Snornie," that I crafted out of paperclay.

No one commented on my handiwork....which I took to mean it was so nicely done that it looked store-bought. So this year I'm planning to handcraft another store-bought snornament--a female partner for Snornie. Who knows? Next year there might be snowbabies....

Wrinkles

I'm very fond of this green VW bus that now sits in a bookcase here in the condo. Tech Guy, who is preparing to move, sent it back to the Parental Basement Storage Facility and I managed to rescue it before it became yet another artifact for a future archeological dig.

This little bus brings back memories of an old boyfriend who used to drive one. Actually, his was a little different. It was a badly-oxidized red and had a front and back seat and an open area in the back like a pick-up truck.

Boyfriend had a big slobbery dog which I wasn't fond of. I'm more of a cat gal, although I can cozy-up to a dog now and then. But never a big slobbery one. This caused quite a dilemma. I was very fond of the guy but I wasn't thrilled with the dog...who would often ride in the car and give it an unpleasant odor. Not to mention, there was always lots of dog hair. Back then--hard as it is to believe--women would actually dress up for a date, so you can imagine what I looked like when we got to wherever it was we were going.

I always hoped that this man would find another home for BSD, and I guess I should be careful what I wish for. It wasn't too long before he got his draft notice and then BSD had to go. And soon both boyfriend and BSD were gone--BSD to a nice home with a big yard and lots of children, and boyfriend to basic training at Ft. Something-er-other in Kansas.

I was thinking of making some little clay people to put in this bus, just for whimsy's sake. And maybe a cat.


So the other day the construction foreman here at the complex flagged Mr. Gadget down as he walked to the mailbox. He said he was sorry about the wrinkles on the side of our unit. We hadn't noticed, but it seems the windows on the new building next door have been reflecting the Fall sun and have wrinkled and bubbled our vinyl siding. So now I'm a born-again sunscreen user. I had no idea. He assured us they'll replace the siding......and I'm just wondering if I can negotiate a deal for my neck and jowls?

Bunny break

Poor Santa. He's all tuckered out and it's not even December.

A fine day for flannel

It was lovely here today and Mr. Gadget suggested we take a ride. "Can you think of someplace we can go?" he asked.

"Not right at the moment," I said, "but give me a few minutes."

I scurried upstairs to the Treehouse and got on my computer. I'd heard there was a fabric store up the road somewhere, and this might be my chance to check it out. I've been looking for flannel. Nice flannel. Not the mediocre flannel that's abundant in my neighborhood.

I found the store's website and noted its hours and location. Mr. Gadget is always willing to drive me to a fabric store. I'm a lucky gal. Mostly he likes to drive his sports car. And I'm occasionally willing to endure his clutch-dropping-gear-shifting-whiplash-inducing driving style if there is fabric involved. Or sushi. So we set off down the road.

In no time at all, I was browsing the flannel aisle....and what fine flannel it was.

I found just what I was looking for. A nice red plaid flannel for Santa to wear with his bunny slippers. He got his order in early this year, and I'd just hate to disappoint Santa...

Creepy encounter

Yesterday I went over to other Marcia's house to deliver the pair o' pilgrims.....and I have to admit, when she opened the door she looked a little different than the last time I saw her.

She was having a very bad hair day, and I think a little darning might be in order. Thank goodness other Marcia has a sense of humor....

So now I'm finished with dolls for Fall and will be concentrating on the Winter ones--Santas mostly. I've decided not to do that other craft show I mentioned before. I'm not feeling confident about a good return-on-investment....and then there's all that schlepping. Instead, I'll just stick with the old hotel show which worked out nicely for me last year. This might also allow me some time to knit a hat or two for the senior center holiday boutique on Dec. 4.

And speaking of the senior center, today was the first knitting get-together in a brand new building that's been under construction for several months. It's a wonderful place, all shiny and new, but unfortunately the acoustics leave something to be desired. The ceiling is high and everything echoes. Chatting with the ladies sitting across the table was difficult. We may have to knit some wall-to-wall carpeting.

Happy Halloween!

Our condo complex has a good plan for dealing with trick-or-treaters. 100% of the trick-or-treaters are grandchildren of residents, so between the hours of 3 and 5 p.m. these little monsters.....I mean, sweet costumed grandchildren....can come around asking for treats. And residents can turn on their outside lights during these hours if they are in a giving frame of mind.

Mr. Gadget and I didn't turn on our lights. We ate all of our Halloween candy a week ago...

Socktober sunrise

This is what I saw when I looked outside this morning at 7 a.m. The sun was coming up over the hills to the east and beginning to illuminate the hills to the west. Quite a sight. It almost made me forget the queasiness.

I've made progress on the socks.

I haven't finished the toe on sock #1. Toe-finishing is not my favorite part of knitting. I'll just save it till I'm done with sock #2 and do them both at once.....with a glass of wine....or better yet, a piece of chocolate...or four. They are kinda festive-looking. The ladies in the senior center knitting group--where I've been working on them--admire my youthful spirit.

I've been working on a pilgrim pair I've promised to other Marcia. I'm experimenting on the man's shoes. My pilgrim men usually wear boots, but one day I realized that male pilgrims would be better dressed in pilgrim shoes. So I googled a picture and did a sketch. They aren't finished yet, but when they are you'll be the first to judge. He'll have a hint of leg showing. I like that in a man.

So I unloaded an old dresser by way of Craig's List this morning. Mr. Gadget calls me the Queen of CL, since I always amaze him with the old pieces of junk I'm able to discard. What he doesn't realize is that junk is a relative term. It really is true that one person's trash is another's treasure.
Big City Girl got this gem long ago from her best friend. She had plans to collage it, and soon lost interest. It was a similar thing with a chair she purchased at the local flea market.

Both were abandoned in the parental basement storage facility. So today, some sucker, I mean some nice man, came by to pick up the dresser. He must have been intrigued by my description of the piece wherein I stated: "might make a nice canvas for some whimsical artwork."

And now for the chair. I should probably check with BCG before I discard it, but technically I think the statute of limitations has expired. How to advertise it, I wonder? Maybe: "with just a little bit of embellishment, this would make a perfect throne for the woman in your life." It could go in a heartbeat.

No traipsing through the pumpkin patch

Aside from the front-porch pumpkin, there are no real pumpkins here at the Concondo this year. I just hate handling rotting pumpkins, and that's usually what I end up doing along about the first of December....being the first-class procrastinator that I am.

I toyed with putting Mr. Pumpkin Man on eBay a couple of weeks ago, but I just couldn't get any good pictures of him. So I looked over my multifarious collection of characters and decided to put her up there instead. Buyers aren't clamoring, but that's ok. I have a couple more selling ops coming up. I've decided to sign up for another craft fair on Nov. 20--where I hope there won't be an overabundance of clamoring because whatever's left will be delivered the next day to the old hotel for the Christmas show. I always say that next year I won't let the stress of the holidays get to me, but I have a bad memory. Just about the time I'm wrapping up the craft-show whirwind, someone will ask me when they can expect to receive their copy of my cartoon Christmas page--something I stupidly did many years ago on a whim and now it's taken on a life of its own. And you know how I hate to disappoint.

So now I've got a few Santas in the works.

And I'm wondering how Santa would look in flannel jammies, a stocking cap and bunny slippers. Would one of those make buyers clamor, I wonder? I guess I don't have to decide on that right away. Bunny slippers are a little more challenging to make than plain black Santa boots. Then again, I should have some extra time since I won't be having to deal with rotten pumpkins.

No longer blizzard conditions

The weekend blizzard (The Tech Guy/Big City Girl Visit) has now blown out to sea and things are slowly getting back to normal. I'm pooped, and apparently I have no reason to be because I have no grandchildren.

Big City Girl endured her wisdom-teeth extraction like a trooper. The only part of the whole ordeal that reduced her to tears was when she fell asleep on the ice pack. But now she's back at work in the big city and finally enjoying some real food--which she assures me she is cutting in to small pieces.

Before she and Tech Guy left on Sunday, there was a Scrabble-off with Gadget Dad.

No, GD wasn't snoozing, although he has been known to nap while playing Scrabble with me. He was contemplating his assortment of letters.....

---which was probably better than TG's assortment.

He told me later he lost to the two of them, but I know that couldn't be true without some pretty wimpy Scrabble playing on his part. I never get involved in these contests. I'm better off, and less anxiety-ridden, just being the photographer.

BCG (aka Stefanie) was quite happy with my embroidered gift--a special apron.

She works in an office with a great bunch of techie-types, and once a week one of the guys, a former chef, prepares a gourmet lunch for all of his workmates. Sometimes BCG assists. Sometimes she even cooks in her own apartment. And once she even called me for some recipe advice. She was baking chicken pieces and didn't have a meat thermometer.

"You don't need one unless you're baking a whole chicken," I told her. "Just cut into the biggest piece and see if there's any pink. If there is, put it back in the oven for a few." I'm pretty sure that's how they do it at those big city five-star restaurants.

Which reminds me of a story. Before Mr. Gadget retired, we would occasionally be invited to big fancy business outings in NYC. These would usually involve dinner and a Broadway play. One of those dinners was at a 5-star restaurant. I won't mention the name. It was a long time ago. I ordered an entree with chicken pieces in a sauce, and every single bite was grisly and inedible.

I've told this story a few times, and no one ever believes me because of the 5 stars. Mr. Gadget believed me though, and thought I should have sent my plate back to the kitchen. I didn't for fear of embarrassing our host. Plus, I had plenty of room for the 5-star dessert--which I'm happy to report was gristle-free.

Reach for the stars!

It's Socktober

I'm feeling much better today. That ginger ale worked wonders. Still no siding guys in sight though, and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to avoid those stomach-churning colors.I've been working on a pair of therapeutic socks. The socks aren't therapeutic, but the knitting is. There are very few knitting projects that aren't therapeutic. Well, I guess there were a couple of cantankerous cardigan sweaters that turned on me--sweaters that remain in indefinite time-out.

It's just a coincidence that I started a sock project in Socktober. I guess there's just something about the nip in the air and the trees changing color that puts me in a sock-knitting mood. Plus, it's always entertaining to knit with self-striping yarn. It's like a good mystery with plenty of colorful characters.

And speaking of colorful characters, yesterday Mr. Gadget and I took a ride up to the old hotel to see how I was doing at the craft fair. I was happy to learn that all 3 of my clay-faced witches had flown the coop. The pilgrim pair was gone too, as was Spud--the chef in the potato print. Disheveled Morning Lady sold too, much to my amazement, I mean delight. It must have been the bunny slippers. Maybe more of my characters will be wearing little pink bunny slippers next year.

On Thursday evening, Big City Girl will be coming for a visit. There won't be much time for conversation this time, as BCG is having all 4 of her wisdom teeth out on Friday morning. A couple of days ago, as I was putting groceries away, the muse stopped by with a new project idea. So now I'm working on a piece of embroidery with BCG in mind.

More will be revealed soon--as well as the story that goes with it.

Now I'm heading out to stock up on milkshake makins'. And maybe I'll pick up another bottle of ginger ale too while I'm at it.

Makes me queasy

I hope the vinyl-siding guys get busy soon on the building next door. Don't they make house-wrap in colors other than pistachio ice cream and Pepto Bismol?

So last night I attended the Gala Opening Night festivities for the craft fair at the old hotel. I didn't invite Mr. Gadget to come along, as I wanted to allow time to linger. Mr. G isn't a lingerer. He would have likely taken a spin around the rooms, downed a glass of wine, and been ready to come home to his comfy recliner and the baseball game. As it happened, I didn't linger long. I enjoyed a glass of apple cider and some tasty tidbits, and took a few pictures of my dolls on display. I was very pleased with how they were posed. The two ladies who co-chair the October fair have a nice flair for decorating.
The pilgrims were sitting with a beautiful wooden bowl and some small ceramic leaf dishes. Very nice.
The ladybug was perched on a basket among some knitted items. She and the red hat made a nice pair.
I especially liked how they placed the witch among similar colors.

The fair will run for 3 days, and it's beautiful Fall weather in the northeast--a nice change from the days and days of rain we've had lately. Hopefully there'll be lots of leaf-peepers out this weekend and they'll stop by the fair and buy a doll.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to pour myself a little glass of ginger ale to settle my stomach.

Clean sweep

This morning I sent the whole gang of Treehouse loiterers packing. They're off to the craft fair at the old hotel--which may or may not be haunted. I guess those who don't find homes will come back and let me know if there's any truth to that rumor. It was a lovely drive--about 25 minutes up the road along a colorful highway with the sun shining brightly. We haven't seen the sun in a long time, and I always feel cheated when we have days and days of rain in the Fall.

So yesterday I was emailing back and forth with Tech Guy, and during the course of our online conversation I determined that perhaps he was in need of some advice. Only I never call it advice. I call it Mom wisdom--which I cleverly disguise as a story. Someday I may put all of these stories in a book. Make that a pamphlet. Here is the story. Maybe you, too, will glean some wisdom from it.

Once upon a time long ago, when we were still living in the old house, we were singled out by a late-night mailbox vandal. Apparently this is big fun for a smattering of teenagers who reject more acceptable forms of entertainment like going to the movies or the mall, or fooling around in parked cars. The next morning we discovered our mailbox in the road, broken, dented and disheveled. Mr. Gadget did his best to cobble it back together. Little did he know then what an expert he would become at cobbling in the years ahead.

Anyway, a couple of nights later, in the wee hours, I awoke to a clattering coming from outside. I got up and looked out and sure enough, there was a car stopped right by our mailbox. Without delay I called the police to report the vandals, hoping that finally these nasty hooligans would get their due. Well, come to find out, the vandal was really the friend of a neighbor, and his car muffler had fallen off right in front of our mailbox.

So, the moral of the story--and I never mention the word moral to TG because then he'd be onto me--is that sometimes something looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, but it's really a pigeon.

Portly pumpkins

I stopped at the farm stand down the road the other day and saw this wagon-load of biggies. I just love pumpkins and the whole New England Fall scene. I remember, back in my childhood days in southern California, the only place to find a Halloween pumpkin was in the grocery store produce department. That was back before pumpkin patches were invented. Now I'm sure they have real pumpkin patches out there--you know, where a truck drops off a load in the Walmart parking lot.

A few years ago a local guy here in Connecticut grew jumbo pumpkins to enter in a competition for the biggest one in New England. One time he and another fellow each hollowed out a huge pumpkin, climbed inside, and used oars to paddle across the town lake. It was front-page news. As you might expect, lots of his pumpkins didn't quite make the weight for the big competition, so he invited local art students to carve them into spooky and intricate designs. On Halloween night he lit them and lined them up along his winding driveway. It was quite a spectacle. A policeman had to direct traffic.

Meanwhile, I've been working diligently on my dolls for the big craft show. Here's the latest one.

And, as per my usual, I've decided to squeeze in one more witch before the weekend.

At the moment she is bodyless and hiding in the curio thingie because she's embarrassed about her hair. Frankly, I'm a little embarrassed about my hair too--but there are no more vacancies in the curio thingie. I guess it's time to call my hairdresser.

Pumpkin patch

Overheard at Michael's today:

Clerk #1 to clerk #2: "My son got a 90 on his first college Anthropology test."

Clerk #2: "Wow! That's great!"

Clerk #1: "That's the study of the brain you know."

I'm thinking mom didn't go to that college.

So, I've noticed more pumpkins popping up on porches around the condos. I have mine nicely in place beside the front door, with a rusty-colored chrysanthemum sitting nearby. And, of course, my colorful Fall wreath. I've followed standard decorating procedures. Maybe I need to get one of those scarecrows on a stake to round out my decor. Then I can check all of the Fall necessities off my list.

I've been making little fabric pumpkins in the Treehouse. These are intended to go with the pilgrim dolls, since they are a whole lotta brown and could use a little color. To make them, I traced around a salad plate on orange fabric, cut it out, and ran a gathering stitch around the edge of the circle. Then I gathered it up slightly and stuffed it. Next, I tightened up the gathering leaving just enough space to slip a cinnamon stick in. You could also use a twig from the yard. Then I tied some green raffia around the stem. You could also use a small torn strip of green fabric. I might make a collection of these to put in a basket for the table, or to line up along the mantel. Some nice pumpkin-spiced potpourri could also be included in the stuffing.

And speaking of things Fall-like, Big City Girl sent us a handmade Fall card.

She's very artistic and very thoughtful .....not to mention, very smart. She majored in Anthropology you know.

Just like the Hollywood Walk of Fame, almost

It seems our town has taken notice of my sewing hobby and honored me with several well-placed manhole covers. They may be all over town for all I know. I am indeed honored.

So, I've been working on dolls in an effort to get a gang of them finished in time for delivery to the old hotel on October 2. Last year I named all of my dolls, but I'm not in a naming mood this year. I wonder if people will be expecting names? Is it possible I've set a precedent? Maybe I'll outsource that job.

Yesteday I cut out and stuffed a muslin cat--another oldie from the archives of the Macaroni Pattern Works.

It's kind of a cleansing-of-the-palate project after a steady diet of the regular characters. I'll paint him black for Halloween and give him a funny face, and attach a little hanger to the back so he can be either displayed on a shelf or hung on a wall.

And as long as I'm cleansing my palate, maybe I'll pour myself a glass of champagne.....now that I'm a local celebrity, almost.

Disheveled debut

Morning lady is finished and ready to plop herself in front of the TV for all of her favorite shows. I still need to fill up her coffee cup, so I'd better hustle and get the percolator out. She's not having one of my special K-cups, that's for sure. And I'm definitely not making a special trip out for donuts either.

I'll probably make another morning lady, but not this craft season. Well, unless someone begs and pleads and grovels. I hate to disappoint. This one will be making her debut at the Columbus weekend fair and I'm anxious to see how long she'll sit. I hope not long enough for her coffee to get cold. I'd hate to have her get so cranky she'd storm out of the old hotel before any money changes hands.

So the other day I was out fabric shopping. That's better than taking one of those senior citizen buses to the casino, right? Did I mention, I got my pneumonia shot yesterday? It's the law once you get your Medicare card. Anyway....once in a while some special fabric presents itself and forces me to dig around in my pattern stash for an oldie. Remember the gecko I made as a gift for a college-bound freshman who couldn't take her pet gecko to the dorm?
Is this the perfect gecko fabric or what? The gecko pattern--an original Macaroni design--is an easy one. I'll just trace around the perimeter, stitch and stuff. I can do the stuffing while I watch Jeopardy....where the amazing Roger guy is blowing everyone away. Is there a category he doesn't know everything about? And how the heck does he get all the daily doubles? I wonder how he'd do with Knitting Terms or Favorite Embroidery Stitches?

I also got some of this pretty green fabric, but I haven't decided what to use it for.

Oh, wait. Nevermind. That's a picture of trees I took out of a moving car. If you look closely you can see the colors starting to change. I guess I shoulda asked Mr. Gadget to pull over.

Recalculating...

I'm really not fond of Carol, our GPS. Although I guess it's possible my dislike is misdirected. Maybe it's the relationship Mr. Gadget has with Carol I don't like. She can be ditzy and dim-witted, but he always gives her a second chance.

Two weekends ago, we went to Brooklyn to help Big City Girl with a few things in her new apartment.

"There must be a way to avoid this mess," said Mr. G, as we encountered a snarl of cars backed up by a bridge-washing crew. A little farther down the road was the Bridge of Endless Construction--the one we unsuccessfully outsmarted on our last trip home from the airport.

Recalculating.....recalculating....

"New York is just one big insult," said Mr. Gadget, who spent much of his youth in Brooklyn and doesn't seem to appreciate the usually charming aspects of New York City like I do.

Last week, we went to visit Tech Guy. He's just an easy 45 minutes south, but before we left the driveway Mr. G started punching Carol's buttons.

"You don't remember how to get there?" I asked, admittedly somewhat flabbergasted.

"Nope," he replied. "Do you?"

"I remember precisely how to get there," I told him. "I can give you directions and you can put Carol in the trunk where she belongs. Besides, I'm prettier than she is and I'll never use the "R" word."