Forewarned is forefooted

I've found the recent news reports about airline carry-on bag charges rather amusing. What next, after this? I'm pretty sure it will be shoes.No shoes, no charge.

Seventy-five cents each, or two for a buck on weekends.

$10.00....unless you're flying JetBlue. Then....and only if they're blue....$7.50.

$20.00. Just be careful not to step on any no-charge toes.

$30.00. Maybe you'd rather save the money and just fly the broom.

50 big buckeroos. Don't forget to ask for a discount if your final destination is the lone star state.

These big clodhoppers are really going to cost you. $100.00. Be sure to bring along your checkbook, or maybe that piggy bank with the money you've been saving for your next trip to the casino.

These will be pretty reasonable, all things considered. It's because they're so darn cute. Only $15.00. Whatever you do, don't let the ticket agent talk you into a pet carrier. Totally unnecessary. Just be firm and state that you'd rather wear your pets.

I hope you've found this review helpful. You know it will eventually come to this. Might as well plan ahead and insure that your feet will be flying smartly.

Sister Mary Rebellious

I'm not sure how long the Mother Superior is going to put up with this one.....what with the garish make-up, the red feather stitching, and the polka dots. Not to mention.....the shoes....

Those fishnet stockings could be the last straw. Sister Mary might be looking for another job soon.

So I was browsing a few blogs over the weekend and I happened upon this. It will definitely bring a smile to your face, and start your week off on the right foot. Much better than watching buzzards.

Buzzards

The roof of our condo has become a roost for buzzards. At first, I thought they were hawks, but when I went outside for a closer look (with the binoculars usually reserved for spying on neighbors, I mean bird-watching) I realized they were buzzards. There's no mistaking buzzards. They have faces only a mother could love.

So the other day--Thursday to be exact--I went to the local library to meet with my once-a-month writing group. The usual drill is that the woman who leads the group suggests a topic on which we all write for 20 minutes. This week's suggestion was to write a letter to someone, or something, as a way of getting something off our chests. In other words, something with cathartic possibilities. Here's what I came up with:

Dear Citizens of the World:

Where has civility gone? Why can't more of us be civil to each other? Why must some of you cut me off in the traffic? Are you in such a hurry you can't give me a break and just let me merge in? And why must you follow me so closely? Do you really think I'm going to go faster just to accommodate your schedule?

And what about behavior in the grocery store? Do you see that sign saying "10 items or less?" You must have at least 20. I have a bottle of milk and a head of lettuce and I must wait behind you because I follow the rules. And maybe you could move your cart over to the side of the aisle while you browse for that can of tomatoes so I can get around you without having to move it myself? And must you push your cart up so far that, when I'm done bagging my own groceries, I can't get to the card machine to push the buttons?

And what about the unruliness of children in restaurants? Must some of you parents let your children run wild? Can't you teach them about inside and outside voices?

And then there's the subject of litter. Can't you save that gum wrapper or cigarette butt till you get where you're going and throw it away there rather than tossing it out your car window? And why not pick up a piece of litter that isn't yours now and then? Do a little something for the environment.

And cell phone users. Please! Must you walk around the store chatting loudly to your friends about things I'd rather not hear? Or sit next to me on an airplane and call everyone you know to tell them we haven't taken off yet? And then there's texting. Everyone seems to be texting--and making me dodge them on the sidewalk as they approach without watching where they're going.

And then there are those stickers on the newspaper. Don't get me started on stickers! Must I peel one off of each and every piece of fruit I eat? And what about packaging? Must I risk serious injury while I try to open the aspirin or the salad dressing? What about old people with arthritis? They can't get into their medication without having a more able-bodied buddy handy. Who is in charge of all this stuff that makes so little sense?

Well, I certainly feel better now. And the buzzards are gone--probably off to find their next meal. Come to think of it, I'm feeling a little hungry myself. Thanks for listening....

A blog clog

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Seems there was some sort of a blog clog. The flow of words from my brain to the keyboard was somehow impeded, and I had been reduced to reading and taking naps. It did eventually dawn on me that I could call one of those plumbing guys to come out to the house and snake out my system--which I did--and now I'm back in business. I've got a little headache though.

You'll notice the sewing machine is now uncovered, and sewing supplies are beginning to appear.There are even signs of life.

See that tape measure? It's an oldie but a goodie. It is no longer a complete tape measure since part of it ripped off a long time ago, but it does have one end that starts with zero and that works for me. There are just certain things from my past that I can't part with.

So yesterday Mr. Gadget left the house around 7:30, just like he did when he went to work everyday. His office was eerily quiet and his lighted neon open/closed sign had been turned off.

His computer was unusually dark.

All this because he had been summoned to jury duty. Very soon after he left, I remembered how it felt to have the house to myself, and I started getting very comfy with the whole idea. Then, about 4:30, he returned and reported that they didn't need him, and wouldn't for at least 3 years.

While he was gone, in addition to pigging out on bon-bons, I decided I'd take the opportunity to check his office for orbs. You may remember that while our new condo was being built, there was a veritable orb convention in his new office.

What a relief to see that his office is now an orb-free zone. I'm sure he'll sleep better at night now that he has this information.

A late edit: Oops! It looks like I missed one at the top of his computer screen. Let's just keep it secret, shall we?

Twitter-esque

Why is it that when I'm searching for something here, I finally must conclude that I've left it there (my frog fabric for instance), and when I'm there, I realize what I really need is here (my long black skirt).

I'm very happy the UConn women's basketball team won the national championship for the second year in a row. Not as much hoopla this time though. Maybe it's getting ho-hum.

Tomorrow I'm having lunch with my Red Hat group. These are real flesh-and-blood ladies. Not the cloth kind I usually hang out with. We're eating German. Maybe I'll have a beer.

I've had the same 4 photos on the fireplace mantel for months. I didn't realize two were the same until Tech Guy pointed it out to me a couple of weeks ago.

I'm planning to take the train down to the big city on Sunday to see Big City Girl, have lunch, and possibly meet her new boyfriend. I'm sure he's already noticing his nerves on edge.

I'm making dolls again. In the works: a pig, cow, ladybug, chef, Uncle Sam, and a nun. I hope they can all get along in the Treehouse till craft fair season. I'll make sure one of them has a ruler. You know who.

Mr. Gadget amazes me by how often he can hurt himself. Yesterday he cut himself putting his shoes away. I'm glad they make one-a-day bandages.

Oh, and that cruise ship I said was ours. It wasn't. Ours was a smaller one behind it. They all look big from the sidewalk. Just keeping it honest.

I haven't started my memoirs yet, although I've had good intentions. I did do some of the daunting dusting and vacuuming though. Yep, I caved.

I think that's enough pretend twittering. From now on I'll leave tweeting to the birds.

Memoirs

Shortly before I left for the west coast in January I received a wonderful surprise in the mail. My aunt had sent me her memoirs.

I've often thought it might be interesting, or fun even, to write my memoirs. Hers have inspired me.

It's a wonderful story full of little pieces of family history I had never known, or more likely, had forgotten. Much of it was probably discussed at family gatherings back when I was much younger and less interested. My aunt is the oldest of four siblings, and she is the only one surviving--in fine form I should add. She travels the world, paints, walks, and pays regular visits to elderly shut-ins within her church and neighborhood. She is Dear-ol'-Dad's older sister.

One of my favorite tidbits is how my father, as a small child sitting on his father's lap, was fascinated by the reflections he could see in my grandfather's glasses. Maybe the reason this struck me so is that I remember playing Double Solitaire with my dad when I was a child and how I could often see the cards he was holding in the reflection of his glasses.

The only thing that puts me off about writing my memoirs is the size of the undertaking. There's been lots of water under the bridge and not all of it was the crystal clear kind you see around tropical islands. Some of it was sort of murky. Do I dare dirty up the clear water with debris from the river bottom? It's a bit of a dilemma.

I did read a book once about memoir writing. The author suggested a good way to make this seemingly daunting task less daunting. He said to pick an incident or memory from your life and write a page about it. Then put that page in a folder marked Memoirs--or Important Information from the IRS, if you don't want anyone peeking. Continue to do this, one page at a time, until you have a fairly good-sized collection. When you think you're done, put the pages in order according to your life's timeline.

This sounds pretty easy. Not too daunting either. I hate things that are daunting. That's why I'm thinking of starting my memoirs pretty soon so I can procrastinate a little longer about the daunting housework....

99%

Now that I'm almost back to 100%....a tiny little cough refuses to budge....I've been trying to decide on a project to take on. The food quilt simmers and I've got the new potatoe, I mean potato, fabric. I even have a fresh supply of clay. I've also got a few home-decorating projects on my list--one of which is to spruce up the dining room wall.

Today I bought some frames with the idea of enlarging some of our travel photos and creating a pleasing wall arrangement. I'm counting on Mr. Gadget to get them all lined up and properly measured, and by all means leveled. This isn't too much to ask of a gadget guy, is it? If previous experiences are any indication, I may have to settle for 2 out of 3. Oh, I'm just kidding! I'm sure Mr. G will do a fine job.

It's so nice to be feeling good again. I have a few housekeeping chores to catch up on....well, except for the dusting and vacuuming. Those are both on my list for next March. Today, with weather that was finally Springy, we opened a few windows to let in some fresh air. I just have to say, it sure is great not having to go out in the yard and pick up sticks and yard debris. Spring clean-up (the new version) will be limited to sweeping the porch and contemplating choices for a colorful front-door wreath. I wonder if the NO's (new owners) of our OH (old house) have blisters yet from raking all those sticks and twigs into piles? Oh, I'm just kidding about that too. I'm sure they're thrilled to finally have a big yard. I hope they're taking good care of Bob.

So I guess while I'm busy doing housekeeping chores, I should find a place to stash this.

Or maybe I'll just put my chocolate bunny in front of it and call it an Easter decoration. You can leave those out till summer, right?

How do you spell potatos?

On Saturday I dragged myself out of a sick bed to go to the sale at my local fabric store. I bought a few pieces, one of which was this:

I'm not sure what I'll do with it. You'll have to stay tuned. Just be aware that sometimes stuff sits in my stash for years until just the right project comes to mind. But I do still have my food quilt simmering in the back closet. My good friend, Claudia, emailed that she's enjoyed my recent rash of blog posts. I've been spending a lot of time on the computer lately....what with the cold and all....and not feeling like doing any housework....and having a good excuse not to for a few days. I've also been camping out in the upstairs bedroom because I'm not the most pleasant roommate when I'm coughing and sneezing all night. Mr. Gadget (a/k/a the Master of Euphemisms) has been a real prince about it. He tells me I occasionally breathe loudly at night. He's been in an especially good mood lately. Maybe that's what a good night's sleep will do for you. I wouldn't know.

So I decided to move an artificial plant from the bedroom to the living room to see how it would look there. After a few days, with nary a comment from Mr. G, I asked him if he had noticed. He looked a little sheepish and said, "You just put it there, right?" I told him this didn't surprise me, but that I certainly thought he'd notice the big gaping hole in the bedroom corner from whence it came. Nope. He hadn't. So I'm thinking I'll just put dusting and vacuuming on my once-a-year chore list....

And another thing.....

How is it that a gal can gain weight on a cruise if she just eats sugar-free desserts?

This issue has been so perplexing that I let Mr. Gadget convince me to take a 5-mile drive down the road tonight for a world-class cannoli.

I guess there's always tomorrow.

So I thought I'd share a few pictures of Cartagena. It was a lovely city in spite of our lousy guide, Herbert.

Here is Herbert demonstrating the gallows at the Museum of the Inquisition. Maybe he got wind of how low he scored on the Macaroni Tour Guide Scale and considered taking early retirement......so to speak...

All gussied up

Most cruises have formal nights when passengers dress up for dinner in the main dining rooms. For those who choose not to don their fancy duds, there's the buffet option. But Mr. Gadget and I go the whole nine yards. He wears his tux--purchased off the formal store clearance rack for under 50 bucks, and I wear a long black skirt or pants, and a fancy top--all of which can be thrown in my suitcase and pulled out wrinkle-free. We've learned how to play the game.

There is a challenge involved in taking along fancy clothes however. This comes when trying to pack them, along with all the other clothes you might need on a two-week vacation, in a suitcase that will not exceed the airline weight limit for the flight home. This is not easy. But Mr. Gadget, ever-so-clever, has managed to solve this dilemma.

Randomness with Kleenex

Last night I decided some cold medication might help me sleep, so I quickly reviewed the medicine cabinet. There were 2 bottles of Nyquil--one with an expiration date of 2007 and the other with 2009. The later vintage seemed to do the trick, so I'm thinking those dates are just ballpark estimates. "You threw out that really old bottle, didn't you?" asked Mr. Gadget. "No," I confessed, "but I will as soon as I'm feeling 100%." I don't know about you, but I can't be bothered with little details like that when I'm hovering between 65 and 70%.

And how is it that furniture can get dusty when no one is living in a house?

I discovered a little problem with the blog after I got home. The right sidebar stuff was gone. I guess it went missing as soon as I started blogging by email from the ship. Not that it's all that important, but that right-side stuff does give the blog a pleasant balanced look. I did a search for help, but, as is usually the case, one must be technically savvy to understand technical help instructions. So I was forced to take matters into my own fumbling hands and I deleted all of the posts from the cruise. You'd finished reading them, right? Now they are gone and the sidebar is back, and all is well with the blog. If you ever find yourself in need any technical help, just let me know.

And did you know that long vacations are tough on cable boxes? Especially if you disconnect the power to them. Apparently they like a small steady dose or they'll keel over and die.

So here are a few more pictures from our trip that I find amusing and rather amazing. Our Panama Canal transit happened on St. Patrick's Day. How did those canal workers have time to decorate?

Back-to-Reality Blues

Mr. Gadget and I are now back home in Connecticut. We had hoped the captain would sail right by the port in Ft. Lauderdale, but no such luck. We were evicted from our stateroom and sent packing.

I'm now fighting a cold and not feeling too chipper, so here are a few pictures with some short captions. I'll be back with more to say in a day or two.

School kids in "Wa-TOO-co" (Mexico) on a field trip to visit our ship

The Farmer-in-the-Dell and Old Mother Hubbard dancing on the pier in "Wa-TOO-co"

Our transit through the Panama Canal. (Notice the higher water level beyond the lock gate in front of us.)

Sculpture in Cartagena, Colombia

The cruise chicken

House with birds - Cartagena

Our ship - The Coral Princess

Aruba

Party hat

Part of the fun of cruising is having a festive hat. I've never had a festive cruise hat, but I've observed other passengers wearing them and having loads of fun. On second thought, maybe it was the strawberry daiquiris.

After I finished sewing the crocheted flowers and leaves on my hat, I considered adding one final touch.

But then I thought better of it because maybe less is more. Although I do think the dragonfly might look cute sitting up on top...and I could feel special that he singled me out for his landing spot.

While I was outside photographing my hat, I noticed that dear ol' dad's fig tree is sprouting some new growth.

That means there'll be lots o' figs this summer. I'm not a real big fan o' figs, but I do enjoy them occasionally and eat them in honor of dear ol' dad. I like to think he's looking down and smiling, especially when I manage to edge out the birds.

Big City Girl is in Florida for a few days, having flown there with a girlfriend in the wee hours of this morning. They were sick and tired of snow. At precisely 2:34 a.m. this morning I received a text message.. ...to let me know she was on the plane, taxiing to the runway and expecting an on-time departure. Isn't it a real pleasure to get a call from a kid in the middle of the night with good news? That's something almost as rare as a festive cruise hat...

Blue chicken blues

By now you must know I enjoy stitching poultry. After I finished this blue chicken I was really at a loss about what to do with it. So I sat on it for a while and finally hatched a plan. I'd make a pillow, applique the chicken on the front, and mail it off to my friend and former workmate--the one who sent me the chicken postcard.

She's always been a fan of my stitched pieces and even has some of my earliest work--lunch-hour creations she managed to rescue in mid-air between my hands and the garbage can.

I'll probably stitch this blue chicken again, along with the yellow and purple ones, and make a three-pillow set to decorate a bed or a chair, or Mr. Gadget's office. They could be the central motif in a room with farm-themed decor. I'm excited just thinking about the possibilities. Pigs, cows, ducks, goats, sheep, and all manner of barnyard bric-a-brac.

In other news.....Mr. G and I will be departing the Calcondo on Sunday, along with our friends from Connecticut who will be arriving in a couple of days, for the local cruise port. At 4:00 p.m. we will set sail for the Panama Canal. A couple of weeks later we'll disembark in Ft. Lauderdale and fly home to Connecticut from there--after the snow is all gone, of course. That's part of the deal. This was all Mr. Gadget's idea. He thought we should take a more leisurely trip home with less flying time. What could I say? He twisted my arm again.

So my plan is to blog along the way. I've figured out--thanks to Blogging for Dummies--that I can post to the blog via email. I will be testing this feature before we go. I'm thinking it can't possibly be as easy as they say. I won't be posting pictures however, as they take a long time to load on the slow-poke ship computers. But I promise some as soon as I'm back on dry land.

So I guess I'd better make a grocery list so I'll have something to cook for our guests when they arrive. I hope they like chicken enchiladas....

Knitting at sea

I mentioned in my last post that Mr. Gadget and I will be going out to sea again--a week from today as a matter of fact, and I always like to take along a knitting project. For the past week, I've been on the prowl for more of this yarn:

Notice how hard I must concentrate to avoid taking a picture of just my camera, and to make sure no turkey neck is showing?

After much phoning and emailing, I found a store with some in stock--right in my own hometown. A very pleasant saleslady even rolled my purchase into balls on one of those magic winder thingies. I may be a knitter from way back, but I've never quite mastered the entirety of the knitting terminology. Thingie works so often in a pinch, don't you agree?

So now that I'm stocked up on yarn for the cruise, I can start focusing on my packing. My major dilemma will be figuring out how to pack all the clothes I think I'll need for a 14-day cruise, while remaining within the luggage weight restrictions for the flight home. Mr. Gadget has come up with a very clever solution indeed.

He always uses the ship's gym, since he's very committed to his exercise regime. (I use that time to meditate out on the deck, in the sun, with a nice cup of hot coffee.) Mr. G is not one to wear the latest in designer exercise togs. Instead, he plans to take his old, tattered workout clothes which he will deposit in the trash can on the last day of the cruise. He'll do the same, he says, with an old pair of shoes and socks. And now he's even thinking of dumping an old toothbrush, and a can of shaving cream with just enough for two week's worth of shaves.

Hearing his plan got me to thinking. Maybe I'll pack my favorite short-sleeved t-shirt--the one I stupidly wore to clean the bathroom and spilled bleach down the front of. With a pretty scarf strategically placed, maybe I can get by till we disembark. I could even take my little white crocheted purse--the one with the cafe latte stain on one side. Who would notice if I pinned a crocheted yarn flower on it? And maybe, rather than packing my black and white sparkly dress for formal night, I'll look for something stylish in a red crepe paper...