Mr. Fleece

Mr. Gadget is so fond of his new two-piece fleece ensemble that I may have to change his name to Mr. Fleece. Just this morning we had the following fleecy conversation:

Mr. F: I'm just sitting here thinking about how fortunate we are.

Me: Oh, you mean our good health, our children, our travels and stuff?

Mr. F: Well, that too. But I meant how fortunate we are to be living in a time of fleece.

Me: Huh?

Mr. F: Look at my sharp new outfit.....just $11.99 at Costco.

Me: You do look dashing, that's for sure.

Mr. F: I guess you could say that fleece is almost a supernatural substance. Sure, there were precedents for fleece. Take Jason and the Argonauts bringing fleece back from Colchis for humanity.

Me: I don't think we're talking about the same kind of fleece.

Mr. F: Sure we are. Then, down through history, there were other important innuendoes concerning fleece.

Me: Like what?

Mr. F: Jose Fleeciano and his big hit "Fleece Navidad".

Me: Oh, I don't know.

Mr. F: Okay, but even a skeptic like you has to admit we didn't have fleece before the space program.

Me: I wouldn't know. You're the science guy.

Mr. F: There weren't just moon rocks in those crates labeled "Moon Rocks". Lots of reputable scientists consider fleece to be a fifth form of matter. You know.....solid, liquid, vapor, plasma, and fleece.

Me: But isn't fleece a solid?

Mr. F: See, they've gotten to you too!

Me: Who?

Mr. F: Never mind. Fleece is no more a solid than fullerenes and carbon nanotubes. They came after the space program too.

Me: What??

Mr. F: Back in the Middle Ages, the alchemists would have assigned fleece to the list of what made up the world. There would have been earth, wind, fire, water and fleece.

Me: So what do you think the future holds?

Mr. F: I can't even imagine. But as long as there's fleece and Costco, these are surely the best of times.

Me: Did you know your fleece has attracted an orb?

Mr. F: No, that can't be. It's well known in scientific circles that fleece repels orbs.

I wonder if there's a black hole of fleece--you know, a place where fleeces go to die--maybe even before their time. Or maybe I can just put it in the dryer and shrink it into oblivion....