December 04, 2011

Mr. Gadget has his say


It was a beautiful morning in our neck of the woods, so Mr. Gadget and I took a walk around the neighborhood. I had my camera and Mr. G. had a few things on his mind.

"There are just too many lawyers," he said. "They've got their safety instructions, their safety recalls, their safety this-and-thats."

Was that a nest or just a clump of leaves, I wondered?

"Do you know my new can of shaving cream has instructions on it?" he said. "Not in words, but stick-figure instructions--so men of all races, colors, nationalities and creeds can be offended without prejudice," he went on. "I'm surprised those lawyers didn't require instructions in Braille, so even the blind could be offended."

"That's really something," I said as I continued to scope out the trees.

"How can a grown man get to be a man without knowing how to operate shaving cream?" he asked. "After all, it's not rocket surgery."

"Hold on a minute," I told him as I raced across the street to grab another shot.

"It's kind of like when you got your new iron with the safety instructions that said not to iron your clothes while wearing them," he continued.

"And you know what else?" he said--obviously getting torqued-up (that's one of those mechanical-engineering terms he throws around now and then.) "One-a-Day Vitamins."

"Right under the name One-a-Day it tells you the dosage is one per day. I'd like to see a creepy little stick figure choke on one of those fat pills."

As we headed home I told him I had plenty of bird-nest pictures. "I'm pretty sure you're ready to relax and de-torque, and I have a great idea," I said. "You can put the lights on the Christmas tree."

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