Man avoids fatal encounter with compost heap

A Connecticut man has received a last-minute reprieve from what looked like a certain trip to death row--better known as the compost heap--thanks in large part to the efforts of a local crafter with a big heart.

A few months ago his fate was all but sealed when he showed signs of rebelling against the creative process. He refused to cooperate with various sculpting tools and was determined to maintain a permanent frown.

Then something truly miraculous happened. He made a decision to turn his life around. A caring crafter stepped in to offer guidance and support. His demeanor seemed to change overnight. He bought some new clothes and some fine green shoes. He began to sit up straighter.

Even his color changed and he suddenly had a smile that could light up a room. He became more social and invited friends over for beer.
When asked what he planned to do with his new-found freedom, Mr. Pumpkin Man said, "I'd love to travel and see the world. But first I think I'll hole myself up on a deserted island somewhere. At least till pie season is over."