The instructions

Here's the second of my two clay witches--now awaiting hair and other accountrements. She is also neckless, but alas! She has a chin. You'll have to look hard. She also has a mole on her nose. All witches should have moles. It says so in the instruction book.

And speaking of instruction books, the other day Mr. Gadget asked me if I'd like some instruction on how to operate the big-screen TV.

"After all," he said, "we've had it now for a couple of years and you might want to watch something when I'm not around."

So I went to get my blank notebook--the one I set aside and labeled How to Operate Things in the House for Dummies. Well, it wasn't totally blank. The first page has instructions on how to get into Mr. G's computer and retrieve all the important info in the event that he exercises himself to death.

"The first thing you should do is get some small stickers that you can write on," he said. "Label them #1, #2, and #3." Then he told me to stick them on the small remote, the silver remote, and the black remote respectively.

"Turn the TV on with #1, then the cable box with #2," he said. "But use the power button on the left, not the one on the right."

"You've got to be kidding!" I shouted. "Don't you think this is complicated?"

"No," he said.

"Tell you what," I told him in my most assertive voice. "If I kick the bucket before you do, I'll make things real simple for you. You don't even have to take notes. Just get a bulldozer."