Laws of Wrapping

Mr. Gadget doesn't get involved in very many of the Christmas preparations around our house. He does put the outside lights up sometime after Thanksgiving. Everything else is pretty much my job.....except for the wrapping of his presents to me. Today he asked me where the wrapping paper was, and the tags and the ribbon and the scissors and he disappeared into the basement and reappeared shortly afterwards with the two wrapped gifts above. Then he began a short discussion of his "3 Laws of Wrapping." These, he says, are not unlike Newton's 3 Laws of Physics, or Asimov's 3 Laws of Robotics. They are as follows:

• There is no gift-wrapping problem that cannot be solved with more Scotch tape.
• Wrapping doesn't make the gift. The gift makes the gift.
• If you really botch the job, just remember it's the thought that counts.

These Laws have worked very well for Mr. Gadget over the years. Somehow I've had trouble living with them because I always figure why should I keep things simple when it's so much more exciting to complicate them.

And moving on, today as I was making the trek downtown to fetch more kerosene for our trusty heater, I was listening to Dr. Joy Brown, the radio psychologist. She was referring to something I had never heard of, but I made a mental note to remember it because I do like to expand my vocabulary. Pornaments. Yeah, I guess it's pretty much self-explanatory. Then I got to wondering if there might be anything hanging on our tree that could be construed as a pornament, so I did a thorough check when I got home. There was nothing obvious. I think we are pretty much G-rated. Well, maybe there is that one ornament hanging back among the branches that the neighbors gave us one year. I suppose it could be considered borderline. I think I'll take a vote on Christmas morning and see what the family thinks. I wonder if it will be unanimous?