Horsing around

I know a little kitty named Baloney,

who thinks he's really a pony.

But he doesn't like hay,

and he won't be ridden--no way!

Is he psychotic....or just a big phony?

It's Howdy Doody Time!

Just when I thought things were quieting down, I've found something new to worry about.

Marionette lines. Do you see them on Howdy? All this time I've been feeling smug about my lack of wrinkles, and come to find out.....I've got ML's. There's nothing to be done about them, although the cruise ship's spa--where I learned about this affliction--promised they could remove them. But cruise ship spas make lots of empty promises. They also promised they could get rid of frown lines, smile lines, crow's feet, and just about anything else that torments a mature woman. Which makes me wonder if they have a treatment for removing annoying husbands.....like the ones with ill-fitting toupees, or the ones who dare to wear black socks with white sneakers, or those who parade around the pool deck in their Speedos.

Mr. Gadget, who used the gym facilities regularly (he's such a good boy), reported back to me about some of the treatments available at the spa--just in case I was interested.

"You can get a hot-rock treatment where they put heated rocks on your back," he said. "It's supposed to be therapeutic."

"That's silly," I said. "Next summer I'll just get some rocks from those rock-wall building guys at our condo. I'm sure they won't charge me what they're charging here."

"They were really promoting some kind of super liposuction treatment," he said. "It's supposed to remove your cruise weight gain before you leave the ship."

"Why bother?" I told him. "I'm just going to pig out on Thanksgiving."

"Do you want to hear about the volcanic lava body scrub?" he asked.

"No," I said. "I'm going to stay out of the spa. Actually, I'm feeling very confident and secure as I embark on my new life as a puppet."

If you're thinking of doing a craft fair....

Make sure you get up early enough to have a hearty breakfast. You'll need to be well-fortified for a long day and it's likely that the only food you'll find available will be sweet rolls and hot dogs.

Pack all of your crafty items in the back of your car. If you're organized, you will have done this the night before. If you're crazy, you will have left your items in the car from the craft show you did the day before--the show that completely bombed.

You'll arrive at the craft show venue and seek out your table location. Then you'll return to your car as many times as necessary to unload the contents, and you'll stash everything under the table so it will be out of the way, but within easy reach as you begin the process of arranging things.

As you begin to arrange things in some sort of thoughtful and attractive way, keep an eye on the clock and pace yourself so you'll be all ready for business when the doors are flung open and the throngs of shoppers rush inside.

Take a few moments to look around at your neighboring crafters. If you notice one that has an unusual amount of exuberance and flits around socializing with everyone in her vicinity, be glad that you planned your arrangement to include a handy tent--just in case you need to get under there on the quick.

Or, you can slouch down behind your red hat lady (or your red poodle that has been knitted around a wine bottle) and pretend to be on your phone. Or you can review your sales numbers and try to figure out why they aren't lots higher.

Don't forget to take some busy work....for those slow times. You might be able to get a couple of Christmas presents done.

Most important of all, don't stress and do keep your sense of humor. Count your blessings that you only have a few dolls and ornaments to schlep home, and not something like heavy painted furniture or a couple dozen reindeer covered in greenery with blinking lights.

When you get home, put your feet up and ask your hubby if he wouldn't mind ordering a pizza because you're awfully tired and don't really feel like cooking. And maybe he'd even bring it over to your recliner along with a beer.

And tomorrow you'll sleep in, and then maybe you'll consider taking up another kind of hobby. Something like wood carving, for instance, or stamp-collecting.

I guess it's still Fall...

....even though we've already had the snowstorm of the century...you know, the one we missed. There are lots of these little trees around our condo complex and they're all red and yellow. While I do enjoy seeing the colors, I also like to see them bare because almost every one is home to a bird's nest. I find it incredible that most of them survive the winters. I marvel at the birds and their structural engineering skills. They know a thing or two about construction....and they never have to endure the headaches of getting a building permit or approval from the condo association to add a patio or a trellis.

Mr. Gadget--who is also a skillful engineer--is always more than willing to help me out with my crafty needs. I asked him recently if he could whip me up something with his saw and drill. Warning: Put on your sunglasses before you look at the next picture.
I decided to paint the something red so it would be festive.

It's not exactly what I had envisioned, but it's Mr. Gadget's interpretation of what I had in mind. It will certainly get the job done--which is to display the sweater ornaments on my craft table. Mr. G. and I have been married for over 30 years and one of the reasons we've made it this far is because I often say, "Thank you!" instead of "What in the world were you thinking?"

Slogging toward the weekend

I mentioned before that I have two craft fairs scheduled next weekend. I usually like to spread them out, but hey, nobody listened to my suggestions. So I'm trying to pace myself and not get too crazy.


It should be easier than previous years--with less dolls and more ornaments. All of the ornies are in that box. And the dishcloths are lightweight for easy schlepping.

Here are a couple of tablecloths and some bags. Both fairs will supply my table, so that's one less thing to worry about. I'm going prepared because I've learned from past mistakes. If I end up with an 8-ft. table, I'll use the extra-long red plaid tablecloth. But most likely I'll have a 6-ft. table so I'll use my fitted green tablecloth with a skirt (currently in the laundry basket) that goes all the way to the floor--to cover up unsightly boxes and other junk that crafters stick under their tables. Also, it provides a nice tent for when I feel like I just need to get away from it all. Or if I want to eat an extra donut.

Here's my little table-top tree for displaying the ornies.

I have a smaller one too, but I'm not sure if I'll take it. I like that saying: "less is more."

I should remember that when I'm approaching the cruise buffet, but just like these folks I always seem to forget.

Dicey but delightful!

Mr. Gadget and I are back from our high-seas adventure. Here was the dicey part:

In the car on the way to the Brooklyn pier on October 29--the day of the big storm that came out of nowhere and shut down the northeast for most of the time we were gone. Were we lucky or what?

When we finally did get to the ship, here's what we found:

Snow on the deck chairs.

About an hour before sailing time, the captain announced that we would spend the night tied to the pier because of nasty weather and rough seas, and we'd be leaving bright and early the next morning. This didn't bother us too much. We just pretended we were cruising and didn't look out the windows.

Once underway all was delightful--especially the Halloween celebration.

I never realized a pumpkin could be carved without removing those yucky innards.

There were some great costumes--obviously worn by people who didn't have to fly home with baggage weight restrictions.


I have no idea who these guys are. Probably stowaways.

So now it's back to the Treehouse for some speed-crafting. I have two craft shows next weekend and I never know when enough is enough. It's an addiction. I'm a hopeless victim of a hobby-gone-wild.

A note to Sue who asked me a question in the comments: I live in Brookfield which is very close to New Milford. Gaylordsville is about 15 miles north of here on Rt. 7. Thanks for reading!

Pushin' the pause button

Mr. Gadget and I are filled with glee,

because tomorrow we're heading out to sea.

It's supposed to snow,

so it's a good time to go!

We'll be back, but there's no guarantee.

Not that other gecko

I wasn't planning to make another gecko, but sometimes I just come across a fabric that announces to me--right there in the store for all to hear--"I must be a gecko!" The earlier gecko was a special order, but this one will sit on one of my craft-fair tables until someone--most likely a grandma--comes by and says, "I must have that gecko for my grandchild!" If that doesn't happen, I will give it to Tech Guy for Christmas. He loves reptilian things. And he's already got a cage and a food dish...

This gecko isn't quite finished. He still needs some beady eyes. Did you notice the hemostat? Just like surgeons use. These are monster 12-inchers. I already have some 5 and 7-inchers and they are very handy for stuffing things. These biggies are a recent acquisition, and it's all because a new tool store opened up in town.

Mr. Gadget saw an ad in the newspaper for the tool store grand-opening. There's an algebraic equation that goes something like this: Knitters' Heaven is to me as tool store is to Mr. Gadget. So off he went, leaving me happily at home, and he came back with a bag o' goodies.

"Look what I got for only $3.99," he said, holding up something unrecognizable.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's a car steering wheel puller."

"What would you want one of those for?" I shot back.

"Well, I might need something like this, you know, in the future," he said.

"What are these little blue rubber bands for?" I asked.

"They're not rubber bands," he informed me. "They're an assortment of teflon o'rings I found for only $2.99.

"Yeah, but the package says they're tephlon. That's not how you spell teflon."

"That's cooking-pot teflon," he said. "This is tephlon and it's even better than that stuff." Was it my imagination, or was he starting to look a little sheepish?

"I did get you a little something for your craft work," he said. That's when he pulled out the big hemostat.

"Thank you!" I said. "Those will be very useful, especially for reptiles. And maybe even for picking stuff up off the floor as we get older. In fact, next time you go check to see if they have any 36-inchers."

Is the coffee ready?

I decided to make another morning lady. I found some beads at the dollar store that were just the right size for hair rollers. This will save Mr. Gadget from having to cut a small dowel into short pieces and then drilling through the middles. I just glued the end of the hairs to the roller, rolled it up and glued it right to her head....similar to what they do at the hair salon, although I haven't had that done in a long time and they may have changed things since then....

I've been busy in the Treehouse preparing for upcoming craft shows. The old hotel show over Columbus Day weekend turned out to be profitable. I sold six dolls and one painted cat, plus the half-dozen felted flowers I took along this year. I was happy to see that the flowers were well-received--especially since I have many more I'm hoping to sell. It was a nice show, and the organizer always does a great job arranging and displaying the arts and crafts around the hotel. By the way, here's an article that came out in one of the local papers a couple of weeks ago. It tells the story of the renovation efforts.

A few people have asked me about chef Vinny and when I will find out if he's made the cut for publication in Art Doll Quarterly. It's my understanding that no notification will be given. I'll just have to wait and check the magazine when it comes out next February. This is probably very wise of the editors and will save them from having to answer difficult questions, like What do you mean my Vinny wasn't good enough?

Meanwhile, the life-story writing group has lost some steam. Some of the members have dropped away. Maybe they just thought they wanted to write, but then it felt too much like school. On a positive note, one of the members, an elderly lady who came to this country long ago from Armenia, has entertained us with wonderful stories of her past, and I plan to record and transcribe some of them for her. My original idea was to record oral histories, so maybe this will be what I end up doing after all.

So the latest issue of Art Doll Quarterly arrived in my mailbox yesterday, and I read that the next art doll challenge is to create a shelf-sitter doll. Considering the amount of work I put into Vinny for the bottle-doll challenge, I may just let this one pass me by. Then again, it is intriguing. I guess I'll just wait and see if a bright idea bubbles up. I think I'm hearing a little fizzy sound already.

Tastes a little like chicken

Reading recipes is quite a challenge for Clem,

who's forgotten to ask his barber for an eyebrow trim.

Should he put in some thyme?

And what about wine?

Dinner's at 5 and he's serving cork au vin.

Minding my p's and q's

I used to think chefs should always wear chef shoes....you know, those sensible shoes that a person could stand in all day and spill tomato sauce on without worry. But they're pretty boring. I'd much rather see a chef in more elegant footwear.....you know, something much more in line with haute cuisine.

You may be wondering about the big Costco olive oil bottle. It's empty and I couldn't bring myself to toss it in the recycle bin. I'm pondering doll possibilities. But not now. Later, after the hustle and bustle of fall craft shows is behind me.

On Sunday Mr. Gadget and I took a ride up to the old hotel to see how I was doing. I drove the new car, so there was no need to engage the HWG (happy wife gadget). I'm never in a hurry...and am continually mystified by why Mr. G's blood pressure is low and mine requires medication.

Anyway, a few of my dolls had sold, and several of the felted flowers too. While I was browsing I met Betsy--who was also browsing, and admiring my crafty creations. Come to find out, Betsy is one of my blog readers. Hi Betsy! She and I had a nice chat and I made sure she understood just how hard I work here in the Treehouse cranking out one-of-a-kind dolls and other crafty goodness. Is it time for my coffee break yet?

So now I'm hard at work on a few dolls for the Christmas show, and very soon I'll be getting my clay out to make a few ornaments. Here's my first attempt:

He needs considerable tweaking, but he'll be fine to hang on our tree--the final resting place for my vast collection of first attempts. For some reason this reminds me of the projects I made in my early school years and how graciously my mother wore her silly piece of Mother's Day jewelry, or displayed a misshapen clay ashtray prominently in our living room. Maybe I'll just call my collection of first attempts my summer camp projects.

Doo-dad dealybobs

Today I had a sobering thought. I know there'll come a time when I won't have to look any further than my mirror for a model of a witchy face with wrinkles, bags, age spots and annoying chin hairs.

I'd better call my dentist. I'm overdue. Maybe I can at least save my teeth.

Yesterday Mr. Gadget and I went to the office supply store where I got these neat little dealybobs.

They're about 2 inches square and should hold pretty near all of my doo-dads.

The reason for the trip was to exchange a small tape recorder Mr. Gadget bought me to use in my elder life-story writing workshop. There's an 80-year-old woman in the group who has some wonderful stories to tell, but she's just not up for writing them down, so I've offered to record and transcribe.

Mr. Gadget, who always lives up to his name, got me a fancy digital recorder with all sorts of bells and whistles, and an instruction book that was 145 pages long. I must say I was quite taken by the small size of the device, but when I heard about the how-to book I said, "Stop right there!"

So we took it back and exchanged it for a five-button version: play, stop, fast forward, rewind and pause. And it takes regular ol' cassette tapes. I'll use the 60-minute ones so at the end of an hour I can say, "Time's up....gotta go!" Some older folks have a way of losing track of time. I'd have a hard time sitting there all night like I used to do with my grandpa when he'd get going about his trip to Mexico.

Today we took a drive up to Knitters' Heaven. Mr. Gadget got a new car and wanted to take it for a spin. Yeah, I know. He gets a new car whether he needs one or not. He's a car guy. Just like me with yarn. I'm a yarn gal and I'll buy yarn whether I need it or not---which I did and I don't. But I discovered a feature on Mr. G's new car that I will call The Happy Wife Gadget. It's part of the cruise control and it keeps the car at a safe distance behind the car ahead. It's amazing. No more anxiety medication for me now that we have the HWG!

What ya cookin'?

Betty Sue loves to cook

but she hardly ever uses a recipe book.

She adds a pinch of salt

and a teaspoon of gestalt,

and calls everything gourmet gobbledegook.

Bling

There was a glamorous witch named Lenore

whose boots made her feet awfully sore.

They housed meddlesome thorns

and caused bunions and corns.

All was remedied with a trip to the pet store.

Millinery

I've been working on a whole waggle of witches (waggle is to witches as gaggle is to geese...I'm pretty sure....) And because I don't want to be accused of overwitching I'm just going to show you a bunch of hats. Make that a haggle of hats. It's been a real scream decorating this year's crop. Old stale designs are easy to fall back on. It's much more difficult to come up with something new and hauntingly haute couture.

The purple flower looks a little like raffia, but it's really plastic--so durable for a witch who is reckless with her broom. I bought it in the big city when I was visiting Big City Girl.

This is one of my own designs. The stamens were store-bought at the same big-city place.

This is one of my own too, made from tulle I purchased at Joann's. Same stamens. The hatband and leaves (with embroidery) were made from wool felt.

Here's another plastic flower with the same orange tulle. I embroidered a spider on the collar. Those eyes might be just a little too beady. I was going for the maximum-scare effect.

Here's another flower design by moi. This witch is dressed-to-the-nines....well, except for the bunny slippers. I felt sorry for her. Those big-ol' witch boots gave her bunions. I love the button on her flower. Sometimes when I shop in the city with BCG I buy doo-dads with no plan in mind for how I'll use them. But it's great fun shopping for them, and they don't cost much. Plus, I don't need one of those big-city shopping bags to carry doo-dads home on the train.

I'll post pictures of the entire waggle soon. I'm thinking of having a bon voyage party for them before they ship out to the old hotel. Then I'll be ready to start my new Treehouse activity--oversantaclausing.

The alumni

One of the perks of being a member of the local senior center--and I really feel a little irreverent saying this--is that when another member "graduates" and moves on to join The Alumni Association, their family members, facing that monumental task of dispersing of the departed's worldly goods, often donate yarn and crafty things to the center.

And if these graduates had a real honest-to-goodness stash like I do, and their loved ones had to dig down through several archeological ages to unearth every last relic--all the better. These are the real treasures. If I were to graduate any time soon, poor Mr. Gadget would have to rent a semi.

Things are going well with the new writing group. Most of the people who came to the first meeting returned for the second. I think that's a good sign. It tickles me how people always tend to return to the same seats at these sorts of things. Maybe it's a carry-over from school days when we were all assigned seats so the teacher could keep chatty friends from sitting together, or to make attendance-taking easier. My mother-in-law, who attended church daily, always sat in the same spot in the same pew--and if someone else, God forbid, was sitting in her seat when she arrived, they were in for the glare. I wonder if she was just a creature of habit, or if she knew God was taking attendance. If the latter is true, I'm in big trouble.

So, I've decided to share my contest doll. The deadline is over, and I'm sure all of the submissions are now being reviewed. As I understand it, none of the dollmakers will be notified one way or the other if their creation has made the cut. It will either appear or not appear in the Spring 2012 issue of Art Doll Quarterly. I'm not sitting on pins and needles. It was a fun project and I enjoyed the process, and it was my first attempt at making a doll using a wire armature. I'll definitely do another.

Here's a close-up of his face. Vinny likes to cook, but he also likes the wine and occasionally takes a nip.

Here's Vinny in the early stages.

I hope he hasn't totally corrupted his shelf-mates at the magazine office. When I left him, his bottle was almost empty--but who knows? There may be an enabler in the crowd.

What's that buzzing sound?

I've been busy as a bee, buzzing and flitting and gadding about. I did get the kitchen floor vacuumed and mopped this morning. I had no choice really. It was crunching when I walked on it. I think little bits of everything fell off of my everything bagel. Maybe I should just buy plain ones....especially now that I'm so bee-busy and housework is such an inconvenient interruption.

I just finished painting a Halloween cat. He has 4 legs so he can stand on a shelf but only if he leans against something. I'll put a hook on his back so he'll also be able to hang around.

Here's the latest witch. The gluing-on of the hat and hair worked well. Not having to sew them on really saves time, and my arthritic finger is much happier. I'm not pleased with the cheeks but I'm probably stuck with these. I tried using one of those dabbers the stencilers use, but I think Q-tips and blush are still the best choice.

So the other day Mr. Gadget and I were sitting down having our lunch. We each make our own lunch--which is so important for saving a marriage during the retirement years. I usually have a sandwich, and he always has cereal--a mixture of two kinds--with fruit. Sometimes I have a salad or some leftovers, but Mr. G. always has cereal no matter what.

"I have something important to tell you," he said as we were about to sit down.

"Uh-oh," I said while bracing myself against the counter. "Is it good news or bad news?"

"It's neither really," he said. "But you might find it surprising."

"Ok, lay it on me."

"I'm thinking of changing one of my cereals," he told me with just a hint of sheepishness.

"No!" I exclaimed.

"Yep," he said. "I think I'll start having Cheerios with my Raisin Bran instead of Basic 4."

"You know, this is really going to shake up my grocery-shopping routine," I told him.

Living with Mr. Gadget reminds me of that line from Forest Gump. Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get, but it's pretty much always milk chocolate with a creamy nougat center.

Dizzy Knitter

This is my current knitting project--a scarf made with sock yarn. I was hoping to get a picture of it nicely draped to give you a sense of its true allure, but it can't be done. So you'll have to wait till I finish up that ball of yarn to see it in all its glory. Someone from my knitting group in California shared the pattern. It's super easy, but she didn't warn me to have Dramamine on hand. I'm making it with sock yarn I had in my stash. I'm pretty much over socks....or maybe I should say oversocked.

Yesterday was the first meeting of our new condo craft group. There were 7 of us--2 knitters, 1 crocheter, 1 photo-organizer, and 3 who just came to socialize. I'm not sure if it will take off, but we'll give it a few weeks.

During our conversation someone asked if anyone knew about the senior center in town and what kind of activities they offered. Various things were mentioned--cards, exercise, ceramics, knitting, etc. Then someone said, "Oh, I saw that they are going to have a life-story writing group starting up soon."

"Yes, and I'm going to lead it," I chimed in.

Well, they were all taken aback, as was I. Funny, eh? While I was at the senior knitting group on Wed. I checked to see if anyone had signed up, and so far I have 3 suckers...heh...heh....I'm sure we'll all have a lovely time, and I suppose I should think about putting a plan together for it.

This weekend will be a busy one. Big City Girl and Tech Guy are coming tonight. Tomorrow Mr. Gadget's older brother is coming to visit. He travels all the time, so I'm hoping he won't want to do any sightseeing. There's not much to see anyway. Well, I guess there's the old barn down the road and a couple of antique shops. I do happen to know there are football games on TV this weekend, and both men know how to operate the big-screen TV. I'll just plan to hang out in the Treehouse, but I'll leave my instructions for them just in case they forget something.....or drink too much wine.

The instructions

Here's the second of my two clay witches--now awaiting hair and other accountrements. She is also neckless, but alas! She has a chin. You'll have to look hard. She also has a mole on her nose. All witches should have moles. It says so in the instruction book.

And speaking of instruction books, the other day Mr. Gadget asked me if I'd like some instruction on how to operate the big-screen TV.

"After all," he said, "we've had it now for a couple of years and you might want to watch something when I'm not around."

So I went to get my blank notebook--the one I set aside and labeled How to Operate Things in the House for Dummies. Well, it wasn't totally blank. The first page has instructions on how to get into Mr. G's computer and retrieve all the important info in the event that he exercises himself to death.

"The first thing you should do is get some small stickers that you can write on," he said. "Label them #1, #2, and #3." Then he told me to stick them on the small remote, the silver remote, and the black remote respectively.

"Turn the TV on with #1, then the cable box with #2," he said. "But use the power button on the left, not the one on the right."

"You've got to be kidding!" I shouted. "Don't you think this is complicated?"

"No," he said.

"Tell you what," I told him in my most assertive voice. "If I kick the bucket before you do, I'll make things real simple for you. You don't even have to take notes. Just get a bulldozer."

Gout no doubt

I'm a gal who can walk and chew gum at the same time, but just barely. What I can't do is drive while telling you an interesting story. Neither can I add ingredients to a pot of stew and converse with Mr. Gadget simultaneously. And now I've discovered I'm not very good at writing blog posts while sewing and gluing and trying to remember to do the laundry. I always have good intentions. September promises to be a busy month, what with crafting in the Treehouse, the condo craft group starting up, and the senior center writing group that I've volunteered to lead. Maybe Mr. Gadget can do the laundry. I'd bribe him with another apple pie, but there's no time to bake.

Here's one of my witches-in-progress.


I'm trying something new with this one. Usually I sew the hair to the head (ouch!) and then sew the hat to the hairy head (double ouch!) This time I glued the hat to the bald head, and I'll glue the hair on just below the hat. I don't know how well it will work, but gluing is much easier than sewing with an arthritic finger....you know, that little finger problem I'm going to keep secret from my doctor when I go in for my physical later this month. You know, that doctor who finds reasons to send me to a variety pack of specialists all over town, thereby reducing my available crafting and blogging time even more.

I was going to put bunny slippers on this witch, but I've decided it wouldn't be nearly as whimsical as if I put them on one dressed to the nines in black evening wear. I'll be working on her next....if my finger holds out and my doctor doesn't call.

Hurricrafting

I'm happy to report no problems here from the hurricane. We were feeling rather smug all day Sunday, watching TV and playing with our appliances while many around us were losing power. But then, around 8:30, our comfy little world got dark and quiet. Mr.Gadget, who always plans ahead, had our gigantic supply of flashlights in good working order and strategically located around the condo. The power company's assessment, in the form of a generic recording, was that we could expect restoration on or before Saturday.

We both tried our best to settle in for the long haul, but by early Monday morning I was feeling the pangs of caffeine withdrawal. Mr. G, bless his heart, rescued me by firing up the grill and heating water for some tea and Taster's Choice. Around 10 a.m., as we sat in our recliners sipping hot beverages and wondering just how much Scrabble we could play, the power came back on.

The frightful weather was just the thing for working on frightful things....like a witch without a neck. Maybe I could learn how to scrunch down like she's doing to hide my neck. I'll bet the turkey feathers would tickle.

While pondering whether this poor witch could wear anything around her neck of a decorative nature, I started some new ornaments. This is just a trial run....wherein I just slap something together for later tweaking. That's not unlike my blog posts. My creative process is a mystery to me. No matter what I'm creating, the first version is usually one of those slapped-together thingies. Then, later, I go back and carve and delete and add a little here and there, and maybe throw in a pinch of salt. Then it's good to go. But of course, your opinion may differ.

These slapped-together Santas will require lots of tweaking. I may make them bigger. I will use a different shade of pink on their faces. I will give them eyebrows and maybe some nostrils. I will outfit them in red hats with a tiny bell on the tip.......unless I decide it's just easier to let them wear thimbles.