Marionette lines. Do you see them on Howdy? All this time I've been feeling smug about my lack of wrinkles, and come to find out.....I've got ML's. There's nothing to be done about them, although the cruise ship's spa--where I learned about this affliction--promised they could remove them. But cruise ship spas make lots of empty promises. They also promised they could get rid of frown lines, smile lines, crow's feet, and just about anything else that torments a mature woman. Which makes me wonder if they have a treatment for removing annoying husbands.....like the ones with ill-fitting toupees, or the ones who dare to wear black socks with white sneakers, or those who parade around the pool deck in their Speedos.
Mr. Gadget, who used the gym facilities regularly (he's such a good boy), reported back to me about some of the treatments available at the spa--just in case I was interested.
"You can get a hot-rock treatment where they put heated rocks on your back," he said. "It's supposed to be therapeutic."
"That's silly," I said. "Next summer I'll just get some rocks from those rock-wall building guys at our condo. I'm sure they won't charge me what they're charging here."
"They were really promoting some kind of super liposuction treatment," he said. "It's supposed to remove your cruise weight gain before you leave the ship."
"Why bother?" I told him. "I'm just going to pig out on Thanksgiving."
"Do you want to hear about the volcanic lava body scrub?" he asked.
"No," I said. "I'm going to stay out of the spa. Actually, I'm feeling very confident and secure as I embark on my new life as a puppet."
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